I have no title for todays post I am tired I've just spent the last 7 days marking TEE Geography Exam papers and my brain is fried. The house is so silent almost glad I have to go to work tomorrow as then there is plenty of noise around me.
Only thing to add is that I found out this past week that my niece is expecting her first baby July 12 2008 that is such wonderful news and I am so totally delighted for her.

Empty Nest

so who do you talk too when all you feel like doing is crying? Who would have known that your 25 yr old daughter moving out into her own home would make you feel so empty and alone in side. It's such a weirdest combination of emotions I am so very proud of her and all she has achieved buying her own apartment and being so happy for her but have an empty bedroom in my home hurts more than I would have imagined. The whole house seems bigger and more lonely and I am just not ready emotionally to deal with this as I really didn't think I would feel this way. I just want it to be everything she has dreamt it would be. I am just going to miss her tremendously as much as we may have not always seen eye to eye she was some one I could talk too and just have the knowledge that I wasn't alone. I just hate the silence that I feel and it's a silence inside my heart so no tv or external noise can feel the silence.

Where does Time Go?

So since I last posted I've been to Texas and back and now I am annoyed with myself for not posting while I was in Texas so I could have the pleasure of rereading what I posted grrrrrr. Guess we were too busy taking over 2000 photos between us in 12 days. So many many many beautiful photos to match the 1000s of laughs and memories we created and shared between the two of us.

So what did I think of flying via Japan.... well it was really quite disappointing as for one I didnt get to leave the airport and the airport was over heated and not really any decent shops to get gifts in. Tho couple of very interesting things was the toilets electronic ones where you can push a button to make the sounds of the toilet flushing to cover up what your doing also another button to push to get a spray of water on your butt or buttocks as the sign read. I experiemented with the sounds but not the water. I also had a real nice shower at the airport in most cleanest bathroom ever which was very refreshing. Another highlight was on the way back from Detroit to Japan I got to sit with the most wonderful young family Steph and her husband who is in the USA Navy based in Japan and there 2 beautiful children Isabella who is 2 and Caidien whi is 7 months they were all so lovely and kind and Isabella sand beautiful songs to me.
Donnwas everything I could have hoped for he looked wonderful and was well it has made me feel so great to spend time with him and see him looking and feeling so good. I love him so very much and it totally destroyed me at the beginning of the yr when he was so sick and I thought I was going to lose him. Just to even think about that makes me feel physically sick. BUT this trip and time together was all about relaxing and cherishing every min of the time we had together. We sat side by side and took photos of the moon, the skyline of Fort Worth at night all our favourite animals at the Fort Worth Zoo not once but twice. We spent a fantastic day at the Texas State Fair where I got to see and hear BIG TEX and we ate....
1. Big Cone of Cotton Candy
2. Big original Corny Dog
3. Deliciously Hot Funnel Cake
4. Big hot plate of Tornado taters
5. Huge Corn on the Cob dripping butter and
6 numerous bottles of water and cups of soda.
Going on the Sky Ride was super cool we got to see all over the fair grounds and took some great photos.
The day we went to the Botanical Gardens we also took some beautiful photos I so love the magic of the gardens I always feel like we wrapped inan extra special band of love and happiness as we stroll through the gardens oh and Donn took the most amazing photo of a dragon fly its so beautiful you can see the wings shimmer.

Something that was totally gross was the silk worm plague that Texas has right now the leaves are eaten completely off from the trees in Donn's front yard and they were thick on the ground and on the tree too the point that you had to run for cover when you were out there in case they fell on you I got a couple on me and Donn has never heard me scream as loudly as I did for him to get them off me hehehehehe. It was also very hot and humid while I was there which was a shame as I had hope to get to experience some real "FALL" weather. However I had so much fun with Halloween and the pumpkins. The pumpkins are truly magical theya re so orange and all such wonderful shapes and the best part I carved my very own Jack O Lantern it was so simple I wanted to carve more(poor Jack is in the trash now tho he broke out with a bad case of Mould).
Oh and of course its always fun to get to spend time with Twister Donn's dog he is so totally different to my little cindy hehehe he always makes me laugh I think every time Donn an di were standing together in the kitchen and Donn would hug me or kiss me twist licks my feet more to the point between my toes hehehehehhe eeeeeeek.

As for Donn(my PRETTY BOY) as i was calling him this trip with all his tough hippy biker pony tail all chopped off he forever makes me smile it's jsut so easy for us to be together we just simply the best of friends who are so comfortable togewther but then he kisses me and I swoon its like we simply made for each other.
Anyways so now its just exactly a week since I left Texas and I am stillwaking up at random hours of the night and reaching for Donn to find that he is not there and it hurts but given the extreme sadness and unhappiness I felt for much of this yr I am determined not to be to sad but rather focus on the wonderful times we had and will have in the future.

Now if I could just get some good sleep and stop been so darn tired everything woiuld be good.

Wedding Photos .....

More Wedding Photos

Just some more wedding photos.

The Wedding

What a magical beautiful Wedding Sheree and Anthony had yesterday Sept 8th 2007. Sheree looked so beautiful and Anthony didnt stop smiling all day. There was even moments of pure sunshine admist a windy overcaste day.

Will add more to this post later just wanted to post a photo of the happy couple with myself and Carli and Jacy.

The Moon

I am determined to take good photographs of the moon we are havign a lunar eclipse on Tuesday so I am going try take some really good photos of it.

Here is my first effort.

Family

Well I am really pleased with myself when my cousin Bobbie Spry Died last month I promised myself I would make more effort to see more of my extended family and today I accepted an invitation to my Uncle Peters Birthday and I am so glad I did as it gave me the opportunity to finally get some photographs of my Aunty Joyce who is such an amazingly elegant old lady and also the Aunty I am named for. Dad lived with Aunty joyce for a while as a young man so when I was born and they needed a second name dad called me Joyce.

I hate Cars

Why is that Cars are made to be something that you need to be male to get treated with any respect when dealing with them it's like this damn boys club and more so the dumber the male and the smarter the woman it seems more the male with the mechanical know how wants to rip and intelligent woman off. (ok not all just some) Yes you guessed it I am having car problems which is kinda funny because I wasnt having nay car problems untill I allowed my father talk me to getting the timing belt on my wonderful no problems car replaced. This just goes to show if its not broke dont fix it. So I get the timing belt replaced as soon as I start my car up I know its not right but then it takes the mechanic a week to get back to me and then he tells me I need a new alternator/airconditioner blet and pulley symtem on my car as thats whats causing the problem so $147 later thats replaced then again I get in my car and its still not right oh you need a new clutch as well as which point I spat the dummy and got my very tough Brother-in-law to call the manager of the mechanic shop and he the manager then agrees to send out an EXPERIENCED mechanic to checkout my car. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excuse me what the hellwere the other 2 who had been working on my car trained monkeys and in the mean time I've had 10 days of my car not working right too the point its now not drivable till Monday and $536 later my car is parked in the garage and cant be driven. Telling ya I am kind of extremely and I do mean extremely annoyed as I feel I've been right royally screwed simply because of being a woman trying to operate in a mans world, GRRRRRRRRRRRR. So I owe my BIL big time he was wonderful the way he spoke to the manager and demanded they fix it for me and not take advantage of me by telling me i am a woman and my clutch needs repairing when he checked my clutch himself and aint nothing wrong with it. ok ok ok writtena book here but sure feels good to vent.

Template freebies

So this has also been a big month with me hosting my first ever challenges and making template freebies to give away.

First tho the biggest challenge I co hosted with OrangeSue on DSP was called "Scrap your Stuffies" and we had had over 85 layouts completed for the challenge and were given our own gallery which you can see here This was so much fun and I loved commenting on all the layouts and encouraging everyone to get their layouts completed.
From this I hosted a Members Chat where our first topic was "to create a layout based on "this I believe" where the word "BELIEVE" should be a very large title.
Link to template


My second Freebie or Member hosted chat was based on telling the story behind your name so here is the link for the Name Template here




Then the final one for this month was go here http://www.colorstrology.com/ then using the template create a layout incorporating your 2 colours using a varitey of DSP products My sample layout


You can download the template here

Catch Up

wow I cant believe I haven't updated for over a month. What a busy month it has been too. Probably one of the major high lights has been my new camera I've really enjoyed gettign to try all the different settings and working out how to use it.

This would be one of my favourite photos its Perth by Night using my new tripod for the first time.

What Age Do I Act

You Are 16 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Week 1 of Jenny Craig

ok so far so good I lost 2.1 kilos this week which I am very pleased with. Specially as I didn't get to the gym as much as I wanted too. So just need to keep reminding myself of all the reasons I want too lose weight.

SMART Goals

S specific I want to lose 15 kilos

M Measurable well the scales will give me the results

A achievable it's definitely doable if I stick to the plan.

R realistic very I've done it before and know i can do it again


T time before sept 29th.


I am determined to lose weight I dont want to be worrying about being uncomfortable on the plane and I dont want to not fit into my clothes or feel tired and lacking in energy all the time. I want to be fit healthy and not feel self conscious about how I look. So today was the first day and so far so good I have a little bit of a headache which I put down to coffee with drawals.
Going to keep myself busy and not think about food. I am also going to use my Gym membership and get too the gym at least 4 times a week and walk at least once a week.

Lost Day

Strange title I know but the thing is I do feel like I lost yesterday. I had such a great time at the School Ball on Friday night Fiona Jen and I just really click and we laughed chatted and had a great evening looking at all the students all dressed up and chatting to them as adults. I took over 100 photos many in groups of students and teachers combined, then to get half way home from the Ball and realise I didnt have my camera in my bag was the worse feeling. We called the Ballroom called other teachers, students but too no good it appears my camera has magically disappeared. To say I am devastated is an understatement. I guess only another camera enthusist would understand how attached you get too the camera. The other thing is that I had already been anticipating what kits I would use to scrap all my photos with as well. So yesterday I just couldnt bare to look at photos or even visit the scrap forum for nay sign of anything connected to photos had me in tears. I guess part of me is still hoping that Monday at school my camera maybe handed back but I am very doubtful. The thing is my camera was not even ayr old and its is an awesome little camera. Its valued at $500 and it didnt have my name or anything on it. Just really want my photos I took too. I guess I will eventually accept the fact I am not getting it back and the photos I took are lost forever but sure hate the feeling.

God Speed Luke

It's kind of weird how you can meet some one and immediately feel a connection to them. Well there is jsut something about Luke that affected me. Perhaps because he has today sailed out on the HMAS ANZAC in the Australian Navy to the Persian Gulf for the next 6 months. He met Carli just over a week ago and was immediately smittened by her and since then they saw each other almost every day and part of that time I got to talk to him about his role in the Navy and his family. I was so impressed with him he was so well spoken and mature. I mean if he likes my daughter it kind of means he is a very smart young man. However a part of me wishes I didnt get too meet him as even after just a short time if something was to happen to him I would be deeply effected by it. So God Speed Luke and stay safe.

Diva Carli

well its Carli's 25th Birthday today so hard to believe I have a 25 yr old adult child. I only feel 25 myself. I just hope that this next yr sees her achieve her dreams of love romance and independence that she finds what she needs to be truly happy in her own skin. That she learns the value of family and the need to be more acepting and less judgemental and intolerant of others.

Update

GooSe says:
you aint added to your blog since April 19th

well here I am adding too my blog after Donn pointed out to me that I hadnt updated it since April 19th. Really I can't belive I haven't updated as so much has been going on. The most wonderful exciting thing is on 16th of May I booked and confirmed my trip to Texas on September 28th for 2 weeks and I feel like a new woman now I have a definite date of when I am getting to see Donn again. It's just more wonderful than words can say. The other really exciting part of that is I am going a very different route from my usual way. I am going via japan and I get to spend 5 hrs there so I am hoping to get out of the airport and go for a little tour and take some awesome photographs.

Most Tedious Most Creative

The tedious is easy anything I have to do at a certain time. I hate having to make committments to a certain time so if I have to be somewhere by a specific time I find that very tedious. I hate having time restraints. Also anything to do with house cleaning or cooking I hate it. My most creative is in three areas coming up with a really interesting an motivation lesson for my students on a topic I know they will really get into and then of course my digi scrapping and also paper scrapping I can lose my self in my photo scrapping its like i enter a whole other world, Of memories and love its wonderful.

Favourite Colour

This is actually a hard question for me because I love all colours but if I have to go with the first colour that springs into my mind every time someone asks me what my favourite colour is then it is very much GREEN. I've always loved green maybe growing up in an area with very low rainfall I never got to see much greenery where now I am passionate about the environment and totally love walking through parks and gardens and natural bushland. I have a lot of green in my home too. I also like wearing green so I have lots of green shirts.

Black Friday

Am I superstitious??? thats a tough one as I have had many significant things occur to me or my Family on Friday the 13th.
The first worst one was my Grandmother was diagnosed with Liver Cancver at the age of 51 on a Friday the 13th a Black Day in deed.
I had my first date with my ex husband on Friday 13th February 1981 we had a fabulous night but maybe I should have taken it as an Omen.
Then today yes today I've been given a dream a wish come true at my regular 12 monthly check up with my onacologist (I had cancer 6 yrs ago) he told me he never wanted to see me again hahaha which sounds rude I know but what he was saying is that he didnt need to see me anymore he considers me completely cancer free like as in I can now start to make plans to live to be an old healthy lady with grand childrena nd great grandchildren hahaha ooooooooops which means I better start making plans for my retirement fund for 25 yrs from now. Its liek I've been given back my future my dreams for the future of being around to see my daughters in their wedding dresses. (damn better start saving) hahahaha
so am I superstitious??????????

Four jobs I've had
I worked on a Brahman Stud Cattle farm helping to prepare the cattle for a Royal Agricultural Show
2. Waitress while i was at University
3. Receptionist
4. School Teacher

Four movies I've watched over and over
1.True Lies
2. Dirty Dancing
3. Shrek
4. South Park the Movie

Four places I've lived
Southern Cross Western Australia
Mukinbudin Western Australia
York Western Australia
Perth Western Australia

Four tv shows I like(d) to watch
Lost
House
Smallville
Dancing with the Stars

Four places I've been on vacation
Bali Indonesia
Singapore
Myrtle Beach
San Antonio


Four of my favorite foods
potato chips
chocolate
burgers
nuts

What a Week

Photos of the winning layout I did and the digi scrappy I did showing my winning layout and a photo of the easter cards I made for Mum.

1. Last Saturday we went out to the airport to pick Mum and Dad up they had spent the last 4 weeks in Bali in Indonesia. The second day they arrived Mum slipped and badly hurt her two ankles and shoulders and they ahd really had a tough time with Mum being in so much pain and all. So Sharon Carli and I fully expected Mum to be emotional when she walked through customs in fact we were joking about taking bets with each other that she would be crying. We Did NOT expect what we got which was mum sobbing uncontrollably as she came through customs her suitcase hadn't arrived and it was like the final straw. (Her suitcase still hasn't show up a full week later)

2. MMonday Mum goes to the doctor about her injuries has xrays and one of her ankles is badly broken she has been walking around on a broken ankle for 4 weeks she is rushed to see and Orthapedic surgeon who immediately put it in plaster and states she is not to put any weight at ALL on it for 2 weeks at risk of losing her foot. At this point Mum is totally devastated and hurting in almost every part of her body both physically and mentally. Which means between the family we are all going to have to take turns to help her so Dad took the remainder of the week off work to take care of her tho by now he has totally run out of patience with her emotional state and is seemingly being less than sympathetic and Mum is really not coping. Sharon is going to take over for a few days this week and then I am on school holidays so I will look after her for the next week and then hopefully the bone will have started to knit together so she can put a heel on her plaster.

3. Donn is refusing to send me any photographs of himself as he has lost so much weight and doesn't like how he is looking which worries me tremendously but he is finally getting regular Doctors appointments. But this is something I just dont seem to be able to mentally come to terms with everytime I start to try and make some sense out of where this leaves me and Donn it's like my brain shuts down as it's just too painful to contemplate losing Donn. I love him so much and I still can't accept that he is so sick that things will never be the same again (as I said can't write about this yet as its jsut such a jumble in my mind)

Then the highlight of the whole week just when I think life is just so full of shit I get a wonderful reminder that its NOT.

I won yes I won the Monthly Scrapping competition at Scrapbooks for the Heart the local scrapbooking store. I had no faith that I would win when I submitted my layout the other ones just looked so superior I literally did not think I had a hope but I was kind of ok with it as I totally loved my layout. So to get a call saying I had won was like the universe/God really wanted to remind me that no matter how hard life seems at time there is always a reason to have faith and believe something wonderful is about to happen. So Thanks God your timing was perfect.

So yesterday I went collected my $50 worth of free products (the prize) and made my Mum a paper scrappy Easter card.

The most peculiar Gift

I think the wierdest gift I've ever recieved was from my Ex inlaws well really father-in-law and his wife not my ex hubby's mother hehehe you still with me after working out the relationships hehehe anyways they gave me for christmas a pair of pliers 3 pairs of underwear and a silk scarf it was like they had gone through there drawers at the last min and grabbed these random items wrapped them and gave them to me. The underwear were not even my size or style i would be seen dead in it and I dont think I had ever worn a scarf in my entire life at that point as for the pliers well they werent too bad as you can never have enough tools hehehe. I think I over reacted and gushed about how lovely the gifts were I am not ever good at hiding my true feelings but even my ex husband was pretty discusted at the gift.

My Favourite thing to wear

I love wearing my jeans and seems every now and again I buy a pair that I love even more than usual and that happened on my most recent trip to Texas. I got myself a real genuine pair of boot leg Levis and I just adore them and from the second I tried them on in Kohls I just loved them they made me feel GOOD GOOD GOOD. Now when it was time for me to come home from Texas I had too much stuff to go in my suitcase so I decided to mail by sea some stuff home and I figured seeing it was summer I wouldnt need my jeans............ well finally 8 weeks later the box arrived last week I immediately took my jeans out and put them on in an instant it felt like I was back at Kohls trying them on for the first time I felt so good in them.
Its like in them I feel like myself all day at work we are not allowed to wear denim of any kind so I am in a more professional style of clothing button up shirts dress pants etc but then I put my jeans on and its bliss.

Home Improvement

Home Improvement Shows: --Home What's the one thing your dream home must have? --
hehehehe a dish washer, a room for my scrapbooking and computer stuff oh and air conditioning and my own bathroom hmmmmmmmm a spa would be nice too.


Improvement What's the one thing you would change about your current home?
my dining room suite would really love one with much more comfortable seats.

Shows Do you ever watch home improvement shows? Yes I really like to see how they make dramatic changes specially for ppl who are havign a real hard time of it.

My Motto

What would your motto would be for the place you're at in your life right now? Is it different than it would have been five years ago? 10? 20?

wow good thought provoking prompt with so many emotional things going on in my life right now I really feel like I am on the brink of many changes.

So maybe my motto needs to be "embrace change" so as too try and keep it in perspective that just because things are changing it doesnt have to mean that its a negative.

Like for example my oldest daughter Carli is looking for a place to move out and it completes excites me but at the same time terrifies me. Thoughts of what if I never get to see her anymore go through my mind which is silly I know as I willget to see her.

I am also wanting to change jobs but after almost 9 yrs of the smae place that is really scary.

Also with Donn's health problems I feel like nothing will ever be the same again and I really dont know how to begin to deal with that.

Anyways need to remind myself "embrace change".

Which is worse?

Which is worse, being sick or having sick kids/loved ones? As a woman I think it's worse being sick because generally no one really looks after you whereas if your partner or kids are sick you spoil them rotten.


Which is worse, throwing up or having sick kids/loved ones throwing up upon you? Definietly being sick and throwing up yourself.

Which is worse, being up all night because you're sick, or being up all night because someone else is sick? Being up all night because your sick is much worse as not only are you tired but you feel like crap too.

"I wish someone had told me..."

How short a time your children are little for I sure wish I had slowed down spent more time with them and taken a million more photographs of them when they were younger.
How you shouldnt be so busy that you dont stop and see all the simple pleasures in the small details along the way.

Dream Job

Prompt"If you had the opportunity for a day, to have a different job (and was totally qualified, trained and capable for that one day), what job would you like to do and why?"
I would love to work in a scrabooking shop called Recollections in Fort Worth Texas and teach classes on both Digital and Paper Scrapping.

3 day weekends

Three day weekends are simply bliss. I finally feel like I have gotten some jobs done that have been bugging me for weeks now. Saturday I sorted out all my paper scrapping supplies. I've cleaned most of the house got heaps of washing done been to the gym and best part of all spent some real good quality time with Donn. I just feel relaxed and good about things.

I even cooked dinner Saturday night more than jsut the normal meat and salad and it turned out real nice. I also got myself some Weight Watchers Bacon and had bacon and eggs yesterday and it was so delicious. Later today I am going to work on a paper scrapping page just finished a real nice one of Jacy using Lauren Bavins Esssence of Dusk Kit.

The Colours in the Box

1. If you were a crayon, which color would you want to be?
I am going to say Red as it makes me think of my Mum she always looks so beautiful in red.

2. Which color do you think you would be regardless of what you wanted?
Red as I am lucky with small details like that

3. Would you rather be used and get blunt, broken and lose your wrapper, or not be used and stay pristine? definietly used to create wonderful coloured art work to add joy to a child or parents life placed up on the fridge door.

4. Would you rather be in a small set of crayons or a large set? A small set so I really would get used a lot.

5. Would you rather be Crayola, or a different brand? Brand doesn't bother me for if I am all a child has then they will used me regardless. Also I am going to look as good as the person who is using me allows me too not because of the brand on my box.

Wants Vrs Needs

10 things I want but dont need.

1. scrapbooking kits (hehehe)
2. a new digital SLR camera
3. a new car
4. a new gold chain to hang my heart bead on
5. new computer
6. new printer
7. new shoes
8. new dining room set
9. new clothes
10. new plasma wide screen tv

Catch Up

wow what a busy week I had last week witht he big increase in class sizes in the Yr 10s thank goodness I had two student teachers Rosalind and Dianne to help me with it they were truly fabulous. Then going over to Sharons to help her pack, shopping with Mum to help her get a new top and a new shirt for Dad for the wedding yesterday. Then also trying to squeeze in some exercise. And most importantly make time to talk to Donn.

Yesterday Carli convinced me to do the rotate class at her gym with her - 45 mins non stop cycling heheh needless to say I willbe standing up A LOT.

Oh I also got a new Nokia phone yesterday finally get rid of that ugly one.

Also on Friday we confirmed our flights for Bali Dec 23rd I have such mixed emotions about that not even sure I want to go when it really means not seeing or being with Donn for christmas I am just not sure whether my family has any idea how very difficult that is going to be for me.

Yesterday working on a very quick layout based on it being shabby chic (not sure I did that) but I did get motivated to take a photograph of one of my most prized possessions I own . A piece of art work I bought just after my divorce I've always loved it as it always reminds me about having the right attitude towards life.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I Cannot change… Courage to change the things I can And Wisdom to know the difference…

Things I am trying to change is always trying to be positive and to remember I dont have to solve everyones problems and that it is ok to say NO without feeling bad about it. To try to think before I speak more and not to worry so much about things I have no control over.
To spend more time looking after my own physical and mental health doing things that make me happy and I enjoy. Making exercise a priority in my life.

Things I wouldn't change is my loyalty to my friends and my deep committment to the people I love. The pleasure I get from spending time with my daughters and my family. My ability to talk and share a laugh with complete strangers, my desire to help others and make a difference to others.

Normally I hate Mondays

I really dont like Mondays normally they always come around way too fast and I much rather stay asleep in my bed till at least 7.30am rather than the 6am I have to get up to go to work on Mondays. But yesterday was different as it was my first weigh in at Weight Watchers and I lost 2.7 kilos or 5.9 lbs and I am so happy. Seeing weigh in is Mondays I think I am going to really start looking forward to Mondays.

Here is a layout I just finished brings back so many wonderful Memorys of mine and Donn's great summer road trip together in 2003. We had the most amazing adventure which all began in San Antonio. I would love to go back there one day it really is a magical place.

The Journey - An Artist Date

this is my reward to myself I am going to make time every week where I just spend 2 hrs immersed in my art where when people ask me to do things I am going to say NO sorry I cant do it then as I have a date.

Hannah

The story of Hannah is that I have watched her grow from the day she was born without having ever met her. Her Mother Sheree is a friend and work colleague of my oldest daughter Carli. It all began with Sheree emailing photos of Hannah to Carli right after she was born and of course I had heard Carli talk about Sheree and Sheree's pregnancy so when the baby was finally born I was very interested to look at the photos oh and of course share them with Donn. Well needless to say we both fell in love with Hannah and her happy cute little face and every week Sheree would send Carli more and more photos till finally I started emailing Sheree direct and we discovered we shared a love of Scrapbooking and with Sherees permission I started using Hannahs photos tro scrap with. Sheree would add little descriptions of what Hannah was up too when she would email the photos. So here we are Hannah willbe 2 in August I am yet to give her a hug but Donn and I love her like she is our very own grand child and the laughs and smiles we have gotten from looking at her photos and following her development are simply too numerous to ever keep track of.

Not to be forgotten

My sister thinking Carli would want to share a room with her cousin Amy for 12 days in Bali.......
I have to find out what planet she lives on because its not the same one as Carli and I hehehehhe it was great for Carli and my relationship tho as we both agreed strongly about the stupidity of the idea.
How wonderful my friend Pam is coming down and putting the colour in my hair and holding me tight while I was crying out my pain and concern about Donn.
My Dad who has mown my lawn for me forever always with out payment and always makes sure to give me a kiss good bye and let me know how much he loves me.
Jacy who at 20 I miss a great deal because she so busy with her friends , her music and her work it's so hard not to try and make her feel guilty simply so I get to see more of her.
My special Mum who I wish I got to spend more time with as well she always looks so beautiful her hair so lovely and today with her red shoes and matching red shirt.

Day One

well I have jsut about completed my first whole day on Weight Watchers and I ahve had a good day. Only thing is I haven't done any exercise is way too hot to go for a walk. Tomorrow I am going to do a walking video I would like to try and get at least 30 mins of exercise every day.
I finally got the blood test results yesterday and everything was perfectly normal except my ANA are still elevated but I am so pleased I feel like I have been given a new opportunity in life. One where i need take much better care of my self. So I am determine to stick to my diet and lose 20 kilos.

Nothing is more annoying than....

Spending two hours trying to alter the html on your blog and then fixing it in 20 seconds heheheheh. All up I think computers can be the most frstrating thing out. So much time I have wasted trying to do what should be a 5 min job but because of small simple errors they take forever.

New Beginnings

Well I went had most of my hair cut off today so I am feeling nekkid. I am still not sure if I like it or not. Guess I will decide when I am trying to do it in the morning. While I was having it shampood Donn sent me the funniest sm but it was a little risque so I couldn't share it.

It was also the first day the students came I had Yr 12s for fist half of the day. They are great kids and I hope they as successful as last yrs.

Scary to think how fast the year will go but I do want to embrace life this yr and do things to enjoy it.

Random things about me.

Two Names You Go By:
1.Miss (by my students)
2. Carolyn
Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1.I was born in Southern Cross small goldfield town in middle of now where.
2. I was taught by Catholic Nuns for my first 5 yrs at school
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. my nightie
2. my hair tie hehehehe
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1.honesty
2. laughter
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Digi Scrapping
2.Paper Scrapping
Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1.to lose weight
2. a new pair of shoes
Two pets you had/have:
1.Cindy my minature poodle
2. Bernie an Australian Silkie Terrier
Two people you talked to today:
1. no one its jsut after 5am
2.
Two things you did last night:
1.called all my best friends
2. prepared my Geography programs for school today
Two people that live in your house:
1.My oldest daughter Carli
2. My youngest daughter Jacy
Two things you ate today:
1.stewed apples
2.
Two people you miss:
1.Donn
2.Donn
Two Things You’re doing tomorrow:
1.Students start back at school so teaching
2. Getting my hair cut
Two vacations you’ve been on:
1.Texas
2.Bali
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. any that I spend with either Donn or my family.
2.
Two favorite Alcoholic beverages:
1.Midori
2.Baileys
Two bands you have seen live:
1. Skyhooks in the last 1970s
2. Kevin Fowler NYE at Billy Bobs Texas 2005
Two things you will do after you finish this survey:
1.get a bowl of cereal
2. comment on some layouts on DSP

Home Again

So I arrived safely just after 2pm yesterday, Mum Dad and Carli were at the airport to pick me up. As usual they dont ask too many questions about Donn but spend the time telling em about all that is happening here at home. Is probably a good thing in some ways as I tend to get very emotional when I have to talk about him for the first few days.

Carli had done a lovely job cleaning the house and she had even bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers. Sharon had invited us all over to her place for a BBQ tea which I didnt really feel like going too but my feet and ankles were so swollen and I felt so hot that I thought a swim in her spa would really help and it did.

It was also nice to catch up with the whole family but I just felt so empty inside.
I left early and ended up in bed by 8.30 and slept till 2am. I got up then un packed walked around the house for a while called Donn but he was tired and down too so we kept it brief and both went to bed.
The house is just so quiet I am struggling to feel like it is home everything just seems so foreign.
I know each day it gets a little easier but the first couple of days are just so hard trying to readjust.

Broken Heart

I feel sick to my stomach and like my heart is breaking in my chest. In just 4 hrs Donn has to take me to the airport so I can fly home and it's like all I want to do is cling to him and never let him go. He is like part of me and not being with him is like I am literally ripping my heart out of my chest and leaving it here in Fort Worth. I am scared to death that we wont get to touch again and that thought has me wanting to vomit.
I just hope he knows how much I love him.

Am I a Nerd

This is the blogging prompt for today or more to your point what is your nerdiest moment. I think mine would be that I now have friends who invite me over for a coffee then suddenly rememeber while I am there that they having some problem with their computer and ask me to look at it and 2 hours later I have basically formatted their computers changed all their settings and or cleaned out their temp internet folder defraged and they look at me as if I am some sort of alien hehehehehe.To be honest it has gotten kind of old and now I try to get them to visit me in my home or go out somewhere as it is really not fun to have to fix up poorly maintained computers.

On a better note here is my latest layout I love how this worked out.

3 sleeps

So in just 3 4 more days 3 more sleeps I start the long trek home. It scares me to death as I just dont know if I am mentally ready to face all that I need too. Mostly i think I am still not sure what I want to tell all the ppl who will ask me how Donn is and if I had a wonderful holiday. Everything just seems so cloudy maybe thats why the weather has been so bad perhaps its a reflection of my doomy thoughts. However in saying that the sun is finally shining today and it looks so beautiful outside. So maybe again as so many times in the past I need to remind myself of all the blessings in my life and remind myself I only have to deal with one moment/ one day at a time I dont have to solve every problem I am likely to face in the next 10 yrs right now in this very second.
I just hate the torment the feeling of always having to try and be in two places at once and never really making anyone happy including myself.
There are many changes I need to make and the first one being to get back to walking as if I feel like I am in control of myself it gives me the confidence to deal with what ever challenges the future will bring.

It's Snowing

well what an amazing week of weather has been so cold and was so very exciting it even snowed I spent about an hour out side taking photographs. It was so much fun, I got a hilarious pic of twister running around the tree. There is jsut something magical about snow that makes you feel young and revitalised. However all the bad weather also meant La Trice's flight has been postponed till Sunday Night so woohoo another 2 days of just Donn and I.

Stopping Time

In response to the question posed at DSP.

"If you could freeze time for less than an hour, and you’d be the only living thing that’s “alive” in that moment:
What would you do?
Why you wouldn’t be able to do it if everything were normal and the time weren’t frozen?"

Like everyone I think Money would solve a lot of the issues in my life right now as well as issues for many of the ppl I love. My parents are retiring this yr after both working their entire lives and I know they are both very concerned about how they will manage financially so I think I would like to figure out away of making some money. Be good to figure out a way to do it honestly or in a way that wouldn't create any difficulties for anyone else like maybe being able to be at a Lotto draw and make it so my lotto numbers are the ones that are in the slots.

Choose Joy

So this time in 2 weeks I willbe on my way back to Perth in fact I will be almost touching down at the Perth Airport. This time in Texas has sure been a growing experience for me with so much time on my hands and so many mixed feelings and thoughts. However the closer I get to leaving the most apparent emotion is love. I do love Donn more than anythng and is just extremely hard to think about not being with him.

We have had a real quiet week haven't been anywhere at all spent most of my days scrapping which is nice splitting my time between digital and paper layouts.