Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

So in the last hr of the last day of the last year Donn and I were both alive in and I feel so sad and so ripped off it's like why me.. So I have 40 mins where i can say "My partner Donn passed away in January of this year.... in forty mins I will have to say last yr and maybe it would be ok if i felt like it happened last yr and that I still didn't miss him so much and still feel so sad.... for it may have been 11 months ago but for me nothing has changed I still think of him all the time I still feel like my life is stuck in some sort of purgatory here on earth. I still have no dreams no goals no direction for where i want my life to go....

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A ME Dolly

well I just spent 3 hrs making a paper doll and trying to make the face look like mine ahahah hmm I am hoping there is no resemblance as its an ugly looking doll.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Art Journal

I am so looking forward to being involved in this for 2010 hopefully I will complete the whole year and have a great book at the end of 2010. This is my first trial front cover which already I want to change so it may end up being the last page I do.
I also did another test page which I like a little but still not what I am wanting plus it took me over 3 hrs to put it together.
If you want more details the header is a link to the blog about it.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Happy Anniversary

so this time 12 yrs ago I was in a plane flying to Texas to meet Donn after we had met online 6 months previously I was so so so very excited the anticipation, the excitement the nerves but I felt so alive like I was on the brink of a whole new me. So when I finally reached Dumas Texas and walked up the staircase from the tarmac at the airport, I lifted my head and there was Donn looking forme in the crowd of ppl walking up the stairs our eyes connected and then the smiles began. Smiles of pure joy and such a sense of already knowing and loving each other like we had simply been apart from each other for a while and I was coming home. So great was the connection that even now 12 yrs later I am sitting here giggling with remembered joy and all the sweet long loving kisses that saw Donn and I 2 days later with chapped lips and having to get some gel to sooth them hahahahaha. For as long as I live I will never forget that first meeting hearign Donn's laughter seeing how a smile made his eyes twinkle and feeling so instantly at home held within his very tight Texas hug.With him I finally found myself and felt truly complete there was not one single thing about me that he didn't know he knew all my faults and all my strengths and he loved me.. Loved me completely.....

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve

Just wanted to post a I love you note to my sweetie D Christmas Eve 2009 you have been with me all day I have thought about you constantly and shared stories of our Christmas Eves with everyone I talked too today. A 1000 wonderful happy treasured memories that make me smile to think of them all. I have missed you so much today remembering the good times makes me smile but it also reminds me of everything I've lost.