Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

So in the last hr of the last day of the last year Donn and I were both alive in and I feel so sad and so ripped off it's like why me.. So I have 40 mins where i can say "My partner Donn passed away in January of this year.... in forty mins I will have to say last yr and maybe it would be ok if i felt like it happened last yr and that I still didn't miss him so much and still feel so sad.... for it may have been 11 months ago but for me nothing has changed I still think of him all the time I still feel like my life is stuck in some sort of purgatory here on earth. I still have no dreams no goals no direction for where i want my life to go....


landofoz said...

caro, i dont know what to say ! Just i wouldnt like to be in your shoes,
Why are the good people taken and these other ratbags running around,stabbing robbing and no respect for life.
Its just not fair! anyway wished i had of known you where coming to Sydney,you could have visited me in Port Macquarie. Its a nice place.
thinking of you , have a nice time,and i love your blog
love maggiexx

Elisabeth said...

Direction... goals, yeah, let's find some of those. I need a bit of same. Well, I do have a job interview next week! Although I'd rather sit at my computer all day it doesn't get me out of the house, oh well!

I did something similar when I changed out my ink tanks. It seems stupid, but you know, it wasn't, I guess. I'd look at the date I had written on each color when I pulled it out to replace, and I'd think, "I put that in there before my mom died," or "I put that in there before my dad died." I think they're all changed out well and good now and none remain that were there when they were alive. I know what you mean about the silence. Keep up your good work, faith in yourself, and seeking. You're doing better than dog paddling!