Friday, September 25, 2009

school holidays

I've been doing so much better but now I feel tired emotional and i miss Donn stupid incident at work just got to me and its last day of term 3 and a week to Donn's birthday it's normally these holidays when Donn and i start to get really excited about seeing each other as its just 10 weeks till I would normally go to Fort Worth and here i am just feeling like crying and it makes me mad mad at myself mad at the whole world
I just feel like i am trying so hard to be ok and not to feel sad all the time and to start give a damn about how I look and here I am sitting here alone and crying feeling sorry for myself. I need to snap out stop crying and focus on the positives in my life... Like its 2 weeks school holidays I am going to Melbourne to stay with essee, Inky and daggs and they have the best holiday planned out for me so I should be jumping for joy not sitting here in floods of tears.
I just hate it I start to believe that I am dealing with things better and then some special memory or date comes up and I feel like I am back to square one againw ith missing Donn and wanting to talk to him and hear his voice.