Sunday, February 07, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
I checked the art gallery this morning and was so touched to find that one of my wonderful friends had made this beautiful layout for me... such a timely act as the days leading up to Donn's first anniversary approach I am feeling his loss more than ever.
"I have always admired Caro's courage for traveling half way around the world to meet Donn. I would have been much too scared; she chose adventure and found love.
This layout was created using Risk Adventure Page Kit and Risk Another Adventure Page Kit by Elizabeth Weaver
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I am just really struggling to believe that it is almost 1 year since Donn passed away this time last year we were together and complaining about all the hype on the tv about the inauguration of Obama which is interestingly the day Donn ended up in hospital. So we were sitting in the ER watching the ceremony on the TV sat there half the night through the balls and all. At one point Donn turned to me and looked me right in the eyes and said I am really scared C. It broke my heart as I was so scared too but I had to sit there and make out it was all going to be ok while inside I felt like my whole world was about to tumble down around me. But even then I still wasn't thinking that Donn was about to die I wish I had known so we could have said all the things we wanted too not that I think it would have made any difference as I would still now and every day want more than anything to just talk to him. On the 30th of Jan it will be one year so my art journal is going to be a mixed bag of emotions over the next 2 week.
Posted by samm at 6:22 pm
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 02, 2010
wow tough choice I went with adventure but I think I should have gone with "noise" as at the last session with the grief counselor I talked about how silent i feel my life is silent to the point that there is a blankness inside me that I can hear the silence it deafens me to the point of feeling paralysed by it. So she told me that I need to fill that silence with things about me and for me because that silence is the part of me that Donn filled our laughter, dreams, passion, excitement, adventures, Lyn the counselor suggest I start a new hobby like yoga something that will get me meeting new ppl and doing things I haven't done before because in immersing myself in new activities I will begin to give my life a new direction and fill it with new activities and friends. However she did also say that I need to accept that there will always be a part of me that will be silent as that is my grief over losing Donn which I should welcome and accept as that is the testimony of how great a love we shared. So anyways I am thinking of changing my word of the year to NOISE. Hmmmmm I will ponder on it for a while as I stillreally do like the word adventure.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
So in the last hr of the last day of the last year Donn and I were both alive in and I feel so sad and so ripped off it's like why me.. So I have 40 mins where i can say "My partner Donn passed away in January of this year.... in forty mins I will have to say last yr and maybe it would be ok if i felt like it happened last yr and that I still didn't miss him so much and still feel so sad.... for it may have been 11 months ago but for me nothing has changed I still think of him all the time I still feel like my life is stuck in some sort of purgatory here on earth. I still have no dreams no goals no direction for where i want my life to go....
Posted by samm at 11:15 pm