Not feeling so good

So I had all these plans to keep myself really busy this 3 day weekend but instead I wake up yesterday morning feeling totally unwell so rushing back and forward to the toilet all day and feeling nauseous so I didnt get to do half of what I wanted and spent most of the day home alone which right now I cant cope with and then again today I was meant to go out for Lunch with friends but still felt unwell so again I spent the day home alone and just feeling so alone and how long can I expect my friends and family to want to listen to me cry . Today I got angry and told Donn I hated him for doing this to me he had no right leaving me. I dont want to be this sad lonely person but at times I get to feeling so sad I cant barely breathe. I just dont know what to do with myself.Plus I just feel like no one understands how can they unless they have lost the love of their life there #1 person. Donn was my person he loved me more than anyone he was the person I didnt have to censor my thoughts my emotions what I felt he knew about sometimes even before I recognised what I was thinking and feeling he knew me so well. I just miss him I dreamt about him for the first time last night I cant remember what it was about all I do remember is waking up abruptly feeling like I was looking deep into his eyes. Like I opened my eyes and he was so close to me that all I could see were his beautiful blue eyes.