just blah

I want to write how I feel but the thing is its like there is this emptiness a nothingness I miss Donn and the joy and the anticipation of looking forward to talking to him to the shared laughter I just miss him. Its like for 11 yrs I counted down towards the day Donn and I would get to be together again and now I am counting backwards from the day we last got to touch and it makes me want to be physically sick so painful is that last memory. I just feel so very alone.