He is here with me

there is a blankness a void an emptiness an absence of anything


I know I have suffered a huge loss and inside my heart is weeping but some how its easier I am no longer tortured by images of Donn cold and scared attached to a 100 tubes and machines surrounded by Doctors and Nurses. He/we were/was so scared it broke my heart and now he has gone. Friday 30th January 6.15pm (Texas Time) I was talking to his sister quietly on the phone she was sitting by his side holding his hand as he took his last breathe his heart then stopped beating a few minutes later. It was all so relaxed and calm he was in no pain and we were both telling him we loved him.

They turned the dialysis machine off at around midday and his heart continued to beat well and in fact when Sharian put me on speaker phone his heart pace and blood pressure increased as if it was his last final way of expressing his love for me. After that his blood pressure continued to drop and around 3pm the respirator was removed he never woke or moved and with the sounds of mine and his loved sisters voices in the background he slipped away.

Instantly this sense of calm and peace fell over me and all I could keep saying is he is here with me now he is here with me now.
For as long as I live Donn will forever remain a part of me the very best part.

I love these 2 pieces of writings this first one th eminute I read it I could hear my sweetie D saying the words to me

Togetherness
Death is nothing at all - I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which You always used. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be the household word that it always was.Let it be spoken without effort. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was there is absolutely unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of Your mind because I am out of Your sight? I am but waiting for You, for an interval, somewhere very near just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before - only better, infinitely happier and forever - we will all be one together with Christ.

As Long as Your Eyes are Blue

by A. B. "Banjo" Paterson

"Will you love me, sweet, when my hair is grey

And my cheeks shall have lost their hue? When the charms of youth shall have passed away Will your love as of old prove true? "For the looks may change, and the heart may range And the love be no longer fond; Will you love with truth in the years of youth And away to the years beyond?" Oh, I love you, sweet, for your locks of brown And the blush on your cheek that lies -- But I love you most for the kindly heart That I see in your sweet blue eyes. For the eyes are the signs of the soul within, Of the heart that is leal and true, And, my own sweetheart, I shall love you still, Just as long as your eyes are blue. For the locks may bleach, and the cheeks of peach May be reft of their golden hue; But, my own sweetheart, I shall love you still, Just as long as your eyes are blue. The Bulletin, 7 Nov 1891 Turn Again To Life If I should die and leave you here a while, Be not like others sore undone, Who keep long vigil by the silent dust. For my sake turn again to life and smile, nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do something to comfort other hearts than thine. Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine. And I perchance may therein comfort you. Mary Lee Hall